Things That Scare Me

I've started this project where I do something every day that I find terrifying. I probably won't be going bungee jumping or riding a motorcycle off a cliff or anything -- I'm a huge fraidy cat. A lot of things that you normal people have done a thousand times, like riding a horse or doing a somersault underwater, are things I've never had the guts to try. I've never broken a bone. I hold onto the banister every time I go down the stairs, because you never know what could happen. I've skinned my knee exactly one time, when I was 7. And it only bled for about 5 seconds. So although I'd love to announce I'm taking up cliff diving tomorrow, I think I have a long way to go.

When I mean "terrifying," I'm talking about the clenched-up feeling I get in my stomach when I think of a good idea. Instead of patting myself on the back for coming up with a good idea and going with it, my first instinct is to judge myself. Why would you want to do something crazy like that when the stuff you're doing now is so predictable and safe? Why would you want to mess with something that's fine as it is? I've come to the realization that safety is a made-up thing that humans use to make ourselves feel grounded. Sure, the odds of hurting yourself are higher when you're doing something stupid, but there's really no way to know what's going to happen, ever, at any moment. Doing the safe thing is an agreement: I will remain perennially unsatisfied, but it's what I'm used to, so I'll take it.

The first terrifying thing I'm doing is writing this blog post. I don't like to write about myself because it makes me feel vulnerable. Who is reading this? Who is looking at this and judging me right now for writing something all serious and introspective and wordy? Well, I don't care anymore. It's scary and I'm doing it!

I'm also opening this blog back up to comments. I'd love to know what types of silly things scare other people so I don't feel like such a baby!