The Weird Hippy Soap That Saved My Skin (But Not My Soul, Sorry)

One part soap, one part kooky religious sermon

I've had red, bumpy, oily-and-dry-at-the-same-time (how does that even happen?) problem skin for as long as I can remember. Magically, miraculously, the only time my skin looked halfway decent was in high school. I'm not sure how that happened, but whoever was responsible for that, I'm eternally grateful. But for the rest of my life, my skin has been a big mess, and I've tried almost everything to clear things up. Prescription creams, Clean and Clear, Neutrogena, the really expensive stuff, the really cheap stuff (Stridex pads?), and nothing, nothing, nothing helped. After a two-month battle with The Devil's Potion, aka. Clinique Acne Solutions, I decided I just wasn't meant to have clear skin, and started investing in tubs of Bare Minerals foundation instead.

That is, until I stayed at my dad's house a few weeks ago. The only soap he had in his shower was Dr. Bronner's, which I've always dismissed as some weird, hippy soap that probably doesn't work. Sure, I've used it before, but its weird herby smell and label full of weird religious phrases always put me off. When you're trying to take a shower, the last thing you want staring you back in the face is: "Eternal Father, Eternal One! Exceptions eternally? Absolute none!" But, since it was my only option, I grudgingly lathered up. And after about a week of using it regularly, the craziest thing happened. My skin cleared up! What?!? I kept waiting for a zit to pop up. Every morning, I'd wake up and rush to the mirror, ready to shout, "Ah-ha! I knew it!" But I've been using Dr. Bronner's twice a day for the past few weeks, and my skin has never looked better. It's like I have a completely new face. And not a creepy, new face like Tom Cruise gets in Vanilla Sky.

I can't believe it took me so long to find out that I was in a cycle of abuse with my acne medications. I'd use one, and the next day, I'd break out. Then the medication would say, "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry, baby, I'll never do it again. I love you so much. I'll make it up to you." And then I'd use it again and next time, the breakout would be even worse. I've been using some type of acne wash since I was in middle school, so let's say I spent $20 on acne products every month since 6th grade. It means I've wasted over $3,000 on chemicals that did nothing but make my skin break out. I know I sound like a Dr. Bronner's infomercial (I'd really like to see one of those), but for one easy payment of $9, I get a huge tub that could last me the entire year. So, if you're not fully happy with your skin, switch to Dr. Bronner's (or any castile soap -- they contain no harsh chemicals or foaming agents) for a few weeks and see how it goes. If it doesn't work, let me know. I have a bunch of half-used bottles of Clinique Acne Solutions I need to get rid of.